


The Escort

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron is smooth in this, Alternate Universe, Awakening sexuality, Awkwardness, Escort Service, Eventual Smut, Everything that could go wrong does go wrong, F/M, Falling for each other, Humor, M/M, Robert can't catch a break, Some Fluff, Some angst, wedding weekend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:16:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7603063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Robert is returning home after ten years to attend Andy and Katie's wedding, only problem is they're expecting him to bring a date, but Robert is single. He makes the risky choice to hire a female escort for the weekend.</p><p>Of course it all goes wrong when his date shows up and it turns out not to be a woman but a man named Aaron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Plus One

**Author's Note:**

> Total AU, nothing is canon except for Robert's past before leaving the village, and a few other things I've decided to weave in. 
> 
> I don't know how long this will be, but it's honestly going to be a bunch of awkward humor and disasters that always come with weddings.

Robert glanced in the mirror, running his hands over the lapels of his blue suit jacket, smoothing them out even though they were already smooth enough. He smiled at his reflection, making sure there was nothing in his teeth. He sprayed a bit of cologne on, and ran a comb through his blonde hair again to make sure it was lying flat. He took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom of his flat and into his bedroom. 

His bag was packed for a one night stay at a hotel. A silver wrapped gift was sitting next to his bag on the bed and he picked it up, twirling the box slightly in his hands, and smirked. It was a cheap little bauble, Robert had thought it was ugly when he purchased, and he was sure Andy and Katie would think it was ugly too. His smirk widened as he laid the wedding gift back down on the bed. 

He sighed and checked his watch on his wrist for the time, his date was ten minutes late. This would be the first time Robert would be seeing his family in ten years, and he wouldn't have been seeing them at all if it hadn't been for the invitation he had received in the post two months ago. It was a wedding invitation, apparently his adopted brother Andy was remarrying his ex wife Katie, who Robert had had an affair with the first time she had been married to Andy. He wasn't sure which one had sent the invitation but he was sure it was Andy, out of spite, practically yelling in his face, _You ruined my marriage once, but we still made it and there's nothing you can do about it_. Robert had almost thrown the invitation away, not wanting to watch “perfect” Andy get everything he wants like he always does, but in the end Robert couldn't pass up the opportunity to at least try and make their happy day a little less happy. 

He had RSVP'd, checking the box that said he would be going to the wedding, the stupid thing he did though was put a checkmark in the box next to 'plus one' before mailing it back. It was stupid because there was no “plus one” there was just one, Robert 'single as fuck' Sugden. He hadn't been thinking at the time when he marked the box, just that he didn't want to seem lonely and sad, like he had nothing better to do then to show up at their wedding; bitter and pathetic. 

He wanted the RSVP back the next day, forget it never showed up and not bother with going. He could have skipped the wedding, made up some excuse that he was too busy, that he had forgotten the date, but that all went to hell when he received a call from his little sister Victoria a couple days later, practically crying with happiness that he was coming home for the wedding. “It'll be a proper reunion,” she'd said, making it impossible for Robert to lie his way out of going. 

His next option was to go out and meet a woman he fancies, get her to fancy him, and then start dating her and ask her to be his plus one a week before the wedding. It had seemed like a brilliant plan at the time, until Robert thought about how desperate it would seem to show up with a woman he'd only been dating for a short time, not to mention he was sure people - especially Katie - would connect the dots and realize Robert had been single at the time when he checked the plus one box, and would assume he had only started dating the woman so he would have a date for the wedding. It was a week before the wedding when Robert started getting desperate, close to calling Vic and faking some illness, when Robert had his next “bright” idea. An escort. 

Robert knew of an escort service in Manchester; where he lives, and he had the money to hire one for the weekend. At first he rejected the idea, thinking he wasn't that desperate, until he had received a call from Andy telling Robert he couldn't wait to see him and his _girlfriend_ , putting a lot of emphasis on the last word; Andy making it sound pathetic as if it was sad that Robert is twenty-eight and still dating. After he'd hung up with Andy, stupidly promising to be at the wedding with his date, he made the call to the escort service. 

It was easier then Robert had expected. They asked what type he was looking for, gender, preferences, what sort of an experience he was looking for, and it took no more time than a twenty minute phone call, and a credit card number. They promised his date, Erin - a twenty one year old brunette - would be at his door at noon on Friday. Well it was currently going on twelve thirty and still no sign of his date. 

Robert carried his bag and the present out into the living room, placing them on the sofa and taking a seat beside the bag. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Vic. 

R: Getting ready to leave, waiting on Erin, be there in a couple hours. Love ya! xoxo

He shoved his phone back in his pocket after the text went through, and just after a knock came at his front door. “'Bout time,” Robert mumbled and walked over to answer the door. He opened it, expecting to find a beautiful young woman, but what he didn't expect was to find a young man. Robert looked him up and down, feeling very confused as he looked back up at his face, Robert's green eyes meeting crystalline blue ones.

“Uh, can I help you?” Robert asked. 

“Hello gorgeous,” the man said in a rich, deep, voice. “I'm Aaron, your date.” 

Robert's mouth fell open in shock, and he wasn't sure but he thought he might've of been having an aneurism from the pain that began pounding in his head. “Oh _fuck_ me,” Robert gasped out slammed the door in Aaron's face.


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron convinces Robert to take him to the wedding as his date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AU Robert has never been with a man.

“Oh _fuck_ me,” Robert snapped and slammed the door in Aaron's face, just at the same time his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

V: Oh I can't wait to see you and to meet her! Are we talking future sister-in-law material? 

“Oh shit,” Robert said and deleted the text without replying, he jumped as a knock came again at his front door. _God, please let this be a joke, please do not be fucking with me?_ Robert's silent prayer obviously hadn't been heard because he opens the door, and the same man as before was still standing there. Really blue eyes, strong jaw covered in dark scruff, fit body hidden underneath stylish clothing, and his lips were turned down slightly in a scowl. There was rucksack strapped around his shoulder. “Excuse me,” Robert said, surprised by the steadiness in his voice, “you don't by chance happen to be a very masculine woman?” 

“Uh no,” Aaron said and Robert slammed the door shut again. “Excuse me?!” He heard the man shout through the door. Robert couldn't believe this was happening, out of all the horrible things that could happen this weekend he hadn't expected _this_ to happen. It was like a really, _really_ bad joke. 

Robert opened his front door again. “Is this a joke?” He asked the disgruntled looking man. 

“A joke?” Aaron asked. 

“Yeah a joke, something one respective party does to another party that they believe to be comical, but in fact it's usually really fucking mean and horrible.” Robert was trying to keep his voice in control but it was slipping with each word he spoke.

“Mate, I'm aware of what a joke is. I'm just not getting the punchline here,” Aaron said.

“YOU HAVE A PENIS!” Robert yelled, finally losing control. He slammed his hand down over his mouth and looked left and right out into the hallway to see if anyone else was around. Luckily him and Aaron were alone. “Get in here,” Robert snapped and ushered him in through the door. Aaron walked into his flat, let his eyes wander, before turning around to face Robert. 

“Robert, right?” Aaron asked, making sure he had his client's name correct. 

“Yes,” Robert hissed. 

“Okay then Robert, do you mind explaining why me having a penis is a joke?” 

“Because you're supposed to have a vagina,” Robert wasn't sure but he swears Aaron clenched his fist as if he was going to hit him. “Not you, my date,” he said quickly. “My date was supposed to be a woman named Erin.” 

“Are you sure?” Aaron asked. 

“Of course I'm sure!” Robert growled. “You think I'd be panicking this much if I was looking for a bloke? Your agency must have screwed up!” 

“Well that's not my fault,” Aaron shrugged. “I just go where they tell me. They said to come to this address with a bag packed for a weekend away, and that you were wanting the boyfriend experience.” 

“No, no, no. I specifically asked for the girlfriend experience. Girlfriend. Not boyfriend! Don't you think I'd be a little less upset if I'd asked for man?” 

Aaron just stared at him, as if waiting for Robert to tell him that's he only joking and that he did order a male escort instead of a female one. “I’m calling that stupid escort service.” 

Aaron sighed and dropped his bag on the floor, and took a seat on Robert's sofa as if it was his home instead of a complete strangers. “Be my guest mate, but there's nothing they'll do about it.” 

“What do you mean there's nothing they can do about it? They can send me the right freaking escort is what they can do!” Robert pulled out his phone, going through his old dialed numbers and found the one for the agency. He was about to hit the call button when Aaron's next words stopped him. 

“I'm sure they would, but you can't get her until tomorrow.” Robert glared over at Aaron who seemed to be at complete ease, almost bored. 

“And how do you know that?” Robert asked. 

“They don't do short notice at the agency, it has to be pre-bookings. You can't just get whatever you want when you want it.” Robert glared at him, close to throwing his phone right at Aaron's stupid smug face, but he really didn't need an assault charge under his belt or worse a beating.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do then? I need a date!” Aaron looks him right in the eye, lifts a finger, and points at himself. “Oh hell no!” Robert said. “You cannot be my date, I'm not gay!”

“Well I'm the best you're getting, and I assure you I am the best.” Robert doesn't have retort, he's too panicked to think of one. “What are your plans this weekend?” Aaron asked. 

“A wedding, my brothers.” Aaron raised an eyebrow at how he spat out the word brother, but doesn't ask about it. 

“Why do you need a date for your brothers wedding so badly?” Robert sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was none of this man's business about his problems, but he found himself explaining anyway.

“It’s been ten years since I’ve been home, and well I told them all I have this great life, and wonderful girlfriend, and pretty much the sun shines right out of my ass. I’ve already told them I was bringing a date, and I can’t show up to his wedding without one. My brother is remarrying his ex wife, and well I sort of ruined their marriage the first time and ever since we’ve hated each other, actually we hated each other before that but that’s whole other mess of problems. I can’t show up at that wedding alone, and let Andy think his life is perfect and mine isn’t.” 

“Okay,” Aaron said slowly. “So you want your brother to think that you have, what, this perfect life, girlfriend, and that you’re happier than him, and I’m guessing you kind of want to make their wedding an absolute hell?” 

“Yes,” Robert said, thinking that having it spelled out like that it sounded very petty. 

“I can make that happen,” Aaron said. 

“Oh really?” Robert asked sarcastically. “What are you gonna do, magically turn yourself into a woman?” 

“No you prat,” Aaron growled and sat up into a straighter position on the sofa. “I can be your date,” Robert opened his mouth to tell him the reasons he couldn’t be his date, mainly starting with the fact that he isn’t gay, but Aaron held his hand up to silence him. “Hear me out. My job is to provide you with company and be whatever you need me to be, mate, boyfriend, fiance, husband, or whatever. I’m a great actor, fantastic even. You take me to this wedding, introduce me as your boyfriend, we have a perfect relationship, happy and blossoming.” 

“I’m not gay!” Robert shouted, thinking that had to be the stupidest plan he’d ever heard of. Hell, he’d rather go alone and be pathetic. 

“They don’t have to know that,” Aaron said. “What do you think people are going to be more interested in: your brothers pending nuptials, or Robert returning home after ten years, dating - no engaged to another man, No one will even be talking about your brothers wedding with me on your arm.” 

“That’s . . . diabolical. Sure you’re not a evil mastermind instead of a prostitute?” Aaron jumped up from his spot on the sofa and got right in Robert’s face, his own face screwed up in rage. 

“I am not a prostitute! I’m an escort! Don’t you ever call me a prostitute! What I do is legal, I’m on payroll, I get a cheque in the post at the end of every month and I pay taxes. I don’t stand on some corner and take blokes into alleyways to blow them for twenty quid. So get your fucking facts straight before you open your fat gob!” 

“Jesus! Alright, calm down. I’m sorry,” Robert took a step back from the enraged Aaron. “I thought escorts have sex for money.” 

“Some do, I don’t. The escorts that have sex for money, do it on their own time. The agency doesn’t pay me to do that shit. Don’t expect me to have sex with you because that’s not my job, I’m not here for you to get off on!” 

“I’m _not_ gay!” Robert hissed between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to have sex with you!” 

Aaron looked him up and down and scoffed. “Good. Now are we going or not?” 

“Uh no. I can’t bring a man home with me and have my family think I’m gay,” he said the last word with disgust, and regrets it from the look of Aaron gives him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay,” he said quickly. “It’s fine, I’m just not gay.” 

“No one has to know that. You said you haven’t been home in ten years, right?” Robert nodded, a migraine beginning to start. “A lot can change in ten years. You go home, tell them you discovered your true sexuality - hell you don’t even have to be defined as gay, you can be bisexual. It’s what, one weekend out of your life that you have to play this part? You come back home, a month later tell them we broke up because it wasn’t meant to be.” 

“Stop trying to sell me on this rubbish plan of yours! I can’t have my family thinking I’m gay!” 

“Why? Are they homophobic or something?” Aaron asked. “Are you?” 

“What no! No I’m not, and they’re not. It’s the simple fact that I am not gay!” 

“I’m not saying you are, you don’t have to go out and start having sex with men. All I’m saying is _pretend_ to be gay, for one weekend. What’s more important, having your family think you’re an almighty heterosexual, or ruining your brothers wedding?” 

Robert opened his mouth to answer, but stopped and actually thought about it. He had already admitted it was a good plan, stupid, but good. It really would put a funk into Andy and Katie’s wedding weekend, him turning up with another man and having all the attention focused on him. Robert does like attention, but pretending to be gay? God, Andy would just love that, and he could already hear Katie’s laughter. He could show up alone, single and pathetic and have them all know he lied about being in a relationship. He cringed at the idea. 

“I can’t believe I’m going through with this,” Robert mumbled. Aaron smirked and picked up his bag off the floor. 

“Great! Let’s go sweetheart,” Aaron said a little bit vindictively, enjoying the way Robert cringed at the pet name. 

“Wait,” Robert said and stopped Aaron as he walked towards the front door. “We’re not gonna have to, y’know, do things are we?” 

“Like what?” Aaron asked. 

“Be all couply, and hold hands and k-kiss,” Robert stuttered over the last word, cringing at the thought of kissing another man. 

“We’re playing the perfect couple, Robert. Couples do that sort of thing, so yeah. It’s just kissing, it’s not like I’m gonna throw you down in front of everyone and fuck you.” He looked Robert up and down again, and it made Robert slightly uncomfortable. “Believe me, I am not interested.” 

“Hey!” Robert shouted in outrage. “You’d be so lucky. I’m a good looking bloke.” 

“It’s not always about looks,” Aaron said. “Are we going or not?” 

“Kill me now,” Robert pleaded and grabbed his bag and the wedding gift off the sofa. “I must be the most desperate man in the world to be doing this.” 

“Could be worse,” Aaron said, “you could fall in love with me.” 

Robert rolled his eyes and snorted. “Yeah, don’t hold your breath, mate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those who are wondering about my other fic The Gray Area, I'm still writing it. I'm just stuck, I know where I want to take it but this next chapter is proving a bit difficult to write. I will try and have it up sometime next week.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! Keep: yay or nay?


End file.
